- ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
- DOS: Defunct Operating System
- WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
- OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
- PnP: Plug and Pray
- APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
- IBM: I Blame Microsoft
- MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
- MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
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